When you buy a book, most likely because you intend to read it, make sure that you remember that it is on your shelf after you place it there.
If you take a minute to look around, you will realize that most of the things in the universe are larger than you. Therefore, whenever you find yourself in doubt, assume that you are not fat.
Any musical composition can be enhanced by the addition of crash cymbals, tubular bells, and lightly-tapped bongo drums.
Every day presents a multitude of opportunities, and the most fruitful -- and challenging -- will often catch you by surprise. Be sure to enter up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right B, A, Start before taking them on.
If your state government allows it, keep your first set of license plates.
Avoid Scylla and Charybdis at all costs.
If you have an entrepreneurial mind, try to find a commercially-viable way to build a scale model of Crater Lake from a flooded football stadium. Optimize your business model to minimize operating costs and accidental drownings, and refer to the image at left when determining the correct placement of Wizard Island. The use of papier-mâché as a building material is not recommended, unless you are trying to decorate your habitat with gasoline-filled piñatas.
Most larger mammals are funnier on rocket-skates, especially grizzley bears.
1 comment:
No post would be complete without a reference to one of the following:
1. Greek Mythology
2. Video game hardware
3. The use of explosive gases in children's birthday party paraphernalia.
You have them ALL in this one. I applaud you.
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